May I be frank? This is my blog after all. I can say what I mean and mean what I say. Perhaps I shouldn't blog late at night, but here I go doing it again.
Lately I feel like a bad mom. Sometimes it feels overwhelming all the tasks I have taken on. It feels like I am being unfair to my kids. I can't find the balance. I don't know where to look for it. I see the time slipping away and I know I am missing out on precious moments that I can never get back. I wonder if it is worth it.
I have tried different methods. The one that seems to work the best is to keep to the rule of no working unless they are asleep. The problem with this is that I end up staying up all night and then I am exhausted the next day. Again, it's a good idea but how can I be a good mom if I'm exhausted?
Anyway, I guess I don't really need feedback on this one. I am just talking it out. The more I think about it, the more I know I have to cut back. It's unfair to my kids and to me to keep going at this pace. Somethings got to give.
you'll work it out! you're a good momma and your kids are lucky to have such a talented mom!!!
ReplyDeleteAly:
ReplyDeleteEvery mom goes through this. And it will keep happening over and over as your kids get older, have different needs, and your needs change as well.
Your kids do need you.... a lot. But you also need to be your own person, with personal growth in things that you are interested in. Let me tell you, changing diapers and wiping noses didn't help a lot with my personal growth!
From my more...hmmm, lets just say...mature (note, that does mean old, not my behavior!) viewpoint, having the kids so much older now, I wish that I had found one or two things to focus on (instead of trying to do too much...sewing, crafting, decorating, cooking, scrapbooking, working, etc) and then felt good about the time that I spent with my kids as well as feeling like I accomplished something well with my goals. As it is now, I just feel like I did a half job with all of it.
Just my musings when I should be getting the house picked up.
Love ya!
Kim
I totally know how you feel. I felt like a terrible mom through law school and studying for the bar. Way too much time had to be devoted elsewhere away from the kids. I knew I was missing out.
ReplyDeleteI ultimately came to the decision that I will never get that time back with my children, so my career will have to be put on hold. That was what had to give for me. I'm at peace with the decision but trust me, it tormented me for the longest time.
You are NOT a bad mom, but I understand that feeling. I've spent the past 3 years feeling like a bad mom. I think we are a lot alike in that we have to be doing it ALL. But we are human. There are just some things that are more important than others and we just have to figure out what those are for us personally and prioritize from there.
But seriously, once I let go of feeling like I had to be perfect and gave up on the extraneous stuff that was getting in the way of my happiness, I felt so much better...
(Ha sorry I know you didn't ask for feedback but I gave it anyway lol. I can just really relate to this situation.)
Wow, I've been feeling this a lot lately, too. There are so many things that I want to do, and I want to do them all NOW, and I want to do them ALL perfect right now!
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to find a balance and know that I need to give up on a couple because I'm getting overwhelmed and it's not fair to Bauer and Cadance. I keep staying, "I'm a stay-at-home-mom to be a stay-at-home-mom." but then don't practice what I preach! (Not that I'm saying I/you/anyone else shouldn't be doing other things, not at all!)
I don't know what the balance is, but I totally agree with Janee. I'm working at letting go of expectations of myself to be perfect at everything the first time. I know there's a learning curve but I don't want it to apply to me!
Anywho, I'm sure this is a novel of a comment, but I think you hit a nerve that you aren't the only one dealing with!
One of the general authorties said its not just the quailty of time we spend with our kids, but the quanity as well. I don't think any mom feels like she is doing a great job, it comes with the territory. At the end of the day, if the kids are feed, cared for, prayers said, and scriptures read, pat your self on the back!!! your a success! Literally from the time I can remember I was working hard milking cows everyday. Our family never went on vaction, I don't ever remember my mom reading me a book or just hanging out with me. I do remember being taken to church every week, reading scriputes as a family and FHE, the essentials. We bonded because we worked together. I love my parents and what they taught me, but I don't look back and wish for the could of beens. Your kids will love you for what you do. It's important you have your life as well. Pick one thing, give yourself a time frame and then walk away. My best working time is before the kids got up in the morning. I have to tell you though, I have walked away from almost all hobbies, if I ever really had any.:) I never felt like I had time, nor do I still. Reading is my outlet, I can walk away at anytime. Remove the guilt, that's Satan's game. Your a good mom and person. You will find a balance and be at peace.
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