More Musings by Mwa

May I be frank? This is my blog after all. I can say what I mean and mean what I say. Perhaps I shouldn't blog late at night, but here I go doing it again.

Lately I feel like a bad mom. Sometimes it feels overwhelming all the tasks I have taken on. It feels like I am being unfair to my kids. I can't find the balance. I don't know where to look for it. I see the time slipping away and I know I am missing out on precious moments that I can never get back. I wonder if it is worth it.

I have tried different methods. The one that seems to work the best is to keep to the rule of no working unless they are asleep. The problem with this is that I end up staying up all night and then I am exhausted the next day. Again, it's a good idea but how can I be a good mom if I'm exhausted?

Anyway, I guess I don't really need feedback on this one. I am just talking it out. The more I think about it, the more I know I have to cut back. It's unfair to my kids and to me to keep going at this pace. Somethings got to give.

Lots O' Random Pics

Phoebe likes to jump in the jumper. Sami likes to also, and sometimes she falls asleep while she's in there.

Logan and Samantha both have a pair of these glasses. They think they are so cool.

Logan wanted me to take a picture of him throwing a ball.
And Sami enjoying the day.
Phoebe making her weird toothy face.

Taken at pre-school this week in my dining room. Practicing our writing.

I walked into the bathroom to find this... Look how far Samantha's bottom is in the toilet!

What's the problem with the people at JoAnn's?

Warning: If you have ever worked at, currently work at, or plan on working at Joann Fabric stores read on at your own discretion. I do not intentionally offend anyone with the following post. Reader beware!

I have noticed that the employees at Joanns can be a tad bit annoying. You find your fabric and bring it up to the cutting counter. The lady (sometimes it's a man) says "how much do you want" and you politely tell her by holding up your arm just so to show her while you say "three yards". The Lady gives you a snide look and says "that's not three yards, that's two yards". Well hello stupid lady, do you really think I can hold my hand up NINE feet in the air?

Sometimes you don't know how much fabric you need, so you quickly try to determine how many yards would suffice. Your mind starts to race as you think about the project you are trying to complete, and meanwhile the lady starts huffing and tapping her fingers. Then she starts asking questions trying to help figure it out. Hello, be quiet while I am trying to think!

The best one, hands down, is when I am getting my fabric cut and as small talk goes she asks the usual questions. "what are you making". Hate that question. Here's why. I don't usually use a pattern. They cost too much money. I can figure it out. I'm smart. So we start into the conversation, me telling her about my project. Soon it comes out that I'm not using a pattern. Here is what is normally said "well there are patterns over there" and I say "I can see that. I don't need one though, thanks" and then she says "well they are on sale for $$". Gee thanks for your vote of confidence lady. Do I really look that incompetent? I mean yeah. Sometimes my projects go awry, sometimes they go horribly wrong.

Like the time I made a set of ottomans and they broke after two weeks of use. The legs broke off. The upholstering was fabulous though! Or there was the Easter dress I made myself when I was 16 in revolt of my mom breaking tradition that year. That dress was the most horrible thing ever to walk the planet.

But back to my point. The people that work at Joanns should just stop asking questions. Maybe we could talk about the weather, cooking, hairstyles.... I don't know! But it should not be about FABRIC! lol! Sounds retarded I know!

I've gotta get something off of my chest. I really don't appreciate people who think they know what kind of person I am, make snappy judgements about me and all that jazz after only one or two meetings. Trust me when I say I am nothing like you think I may be until you really get to know me.

I really can't stand people who lock you in as a certain type of person and never will let you be anything else. Is this making sense?

Here is the lesson we can all learn from this: Do not judge. Do not judge. Do not judge!

You do not know what is going on behind the outer shell.

Thank-you and goodnight!

Milestones

I woke up the other day and decided that it was going to be the day to get rid of the binky. Sami's binky.

We had been talking about it for a while. I was mulling it around in my head...trying to decide on a good tactic. Samantha has held onto her binky harder than Logan ever did. She would wake up in the middle of the night looking for it.

We went to the store a few days before and looked at the baby dolls. I asked Samantha if she wanted one, and of course she did. We talked about how she could trade her binkies for a baby if she wanted. Then we went home without buying anything and I let her think about it for a few days. She talked about it all the time. I could tell she really wanted to do it.

That morning we gathered up all the binkies and put them in a plastic baggie. She was really excited.



We went to the store and found the baby. She HAD to hold it and screamed if anyone else touched it.

We got up to the register and I quickly whispered my plan to the lady behind the register. After she rang up the baby, she leaned down to talk to Samantha. "Is this your baby doll?" My shy little Samantha proudly said "yes".

"Are you going to pay me with those binkies?"

Samantha was holding the baggie in her hands. She held the binkies up for the lady to take. The lady handed the bag with the doll in it to a very proud Samantha. I teared up. Pathetic right?

My little girl is growing up.