a Non-Existence

It's been three years since we started our journey here in our little town.

Three years.

Three years!!!

We've lived in a LOT of different places, and let me tell you that after two years I had already made best friends for life.

So what the heck?

I know I say it a lot on here, but you have no idea what it's like!

Also, I had a few run-ins this week with people from my ward, and they were not good ones.

I feel just as new today as I did when we moved here.

and I'm lonely for a friend.

This week the checker at the store tried to talk to Will and got a sad frowny face from him. She started laughing and said "He has a grumpy face just like his mom!!" and then she said it over and over LOUDLY, telling the other checkers and shoppers. Sounds dumb, but I've always tried to be super happy and upbeat when I go in there. Definitely not grumpy. It's dumb, but yeah, it wasn't the right time to say it to me because I'm already feeling uber sensitive about having no friends. It hurt my feelings.

Then there was the facebook incident which shall remain detail-less.

Then there was the cleaning the church fiasco in which Trevor and I were supposed to head the Saturday cleaning, except no one told us and we got a text at 9:30 Friday night asking what time we were meeting the next morning. The problem was that we had already booked ourselves to go to Logan's robotic competition all day Saturday!!! So Trevor called the Bishop who told us "it's been in the bulletin". Gee thanks. Then Trevor called and left a message with the guy in charge, since he didn't answer, and I texted the person back who had texted us in the first place. This is a lady in the ward who I think might possibly be nice and a person to get close to. So I thought I'd be honest and real with her because I've always thought that being real helps to endear people to you. I said something about how we've already promised to go to this thing in the morning, and I feel like a loser because I didn't know we were in charge and how we've been late for church and missed the bulletin, so we had no idea, and how I was sorry to leave her in the lurch, but we called the guy in charge to let him know. And here's the response I got back: "Can I get his number?" (referring to the guy in charge). Nothing else. No joke. a one line response, completely ignoring anything else I said.

I know it doesn't sound like much, but can you understand just a little bit what it's like to live in the emotionless, friendless world that I live in here?

And then there was today's incident which was really just me being sensitive, but I asked a girl if she would be willing to trade babysitting with me while I went to a photo shoot next week. I told her that I could trade her pictures, or cards or anything photo related. She messaged me back telling me she didn't want anything I had to trade, but I could donate money to the school. But you guys, THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE TRADE!!!! I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!!! And her not wanting anything I have to offer is exactly what is wrong with the people here. No one wants anything I have to offer. Not my friendship, not my service, not my photos... nothing!

It's like I don't exist.