I want to float away

I never had the guts to show my soul to anyone until Trevor came along. He saved my life. He made me believe I was worth something. He gave me the guts to try photography. He pushed me to take pictures of strangers; to put my work out there on the internet for everyone to see and critique. And what you don't understand is that every photograph I take is a glimpse into my soul. A little piece of my heart is in each one of them. I have such a hard time hearing negative comments about my pictures, because I take it so personally. I'm really trying to get over that. Baby steps!

I took Samantha out with me this week to try a set-up out. Yes she may be too big for it, but I love it just the same.  

Crazy Life, Crazy Wife

What a crazy life I lead. It's been insane. And thinking about it right now makes me feel like hyperventilating. I have too much to do on a daily basis. 

The following pictures are pretty much why I haven't posted on this thing lately. I've been consumed with paint. 

obviously this is primer.

and halfway into the first coat

This is my very precise method for mixing paint

Add a little of this and a little of that

and my trusty sunglasses of three years finally bit the dust after I finished painting this thing. Sad.

Trevor likes those dents and told me to leave them there. 

We had our family pictures taken last week. My sister and I traded.

Why is it so hard to find an outfit to wear for pictures? I stressed and stressed over it this year.  Mostly this was because in my sister's words, I wanted these pictures to be "EPIC".  Anyway, after having Samantha take picture after picture of me in outfit after outfit, and still not feeling like any of them were really "it", I practically packed my whole closet in my suitcase and we left for Boise for the weekend where we would be doing the trade.

In the end, I ended up wearing nothing I had planned on and I totally LOVED my outfit. We were running late and I had to totally wing it and just throw something on. The lesson to be learned: Don't plan your outfit for pictures and you will look beautiful! Actually I really liked how casual it all turned out. And they truly are "epic". You'll have to wait and see!

Happy Birthday Phoebe!

My baby isn't a baby anymore! Phoebe wanted a pinata instead of balloons for her birthday. We took her shopping and she picked out the one she wanted. Everyone got to take a whack at it, but it was Trevor that finally broke it open. We had the most delicious chocolate cake I have ever had in my life. No I didn't make it. We finished off the day opening presents outside. We love you Phoebe!

A barbie from Sami

A new car from m&d

a movie from Logan

a dolly from Grandma

"I'm the birthday girl!"

More and More Musings

Since we were late to sacrament meeting today, we sat in the back. I really wanted to get up and bear my testimony, but just as I was getting ready to stand up, the bishop stood up and closed the meeting. It really takes a lot for me to gather courage and I really wanted to get up there today.

Maybe I'll do it on here. That may be weird, but I really really want to today.

I am so thankful that families can be together forever. My kids and I sang "I love to see the temple" as a special musical number last week. They all sang their hearts out and there weren't many dry eyes in the congregation. I am so thankful that Trevor and I are sealed for time and eternity.

I'm grateful that Heavenly Father answers prayers. I haven't talked about this for a while now, but losing our baby was such a hard thing to go through. I know I talked about how I was struggling with wanting an answer about when the spirit enters the body and wanting to know about whether or not we would be able to have our baby come down to earth still.

I've been praying that some day I would have the answer to my question. I received my answer, and although it wasn't the one I had hoped for, the knowledge that I will see my son again brings comfort to my soul. Families CAN be together forever. This knowledge makes me want to strive to be the best that I can be. I want to try harder.

I'm so thankful for my family and for the unconditional love they show me. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be a mother. I love my children and find such joy in teaching them and seeing them grow.

I know that Heavenly Father knows each and every one of us inside and out. He loves us more than we can ever know. He gives us trials to refine and make us even better. I was joking with Trevor that with as many trials as we have gone through since Law School, He must have something really great in store for us. Maybe Trevor will be the Prophet some day! LOL!

I'm joking! I'm joking!