Feeling like I'm off-balance again. People that act like life is perfect drive me crazy. No way can life always be perfect. It's like I'm walking a tight rope and trying not to fall off into the net below. Yeah. At least we all have a net. Thank-you Heavenly Father! Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm bouncing in the net right now. Time to climb back up the ladder and onto the rope again.
My house is a disaster since Christmas. I want to meet my weight loss goals but feel like I'm trudging through mud. Feeling a little friendless too.
Do you have this problem of REOCCURRING problems too? I do. I know half my problem is having kids home and feeling like I'm following them around cleaning up the tornado and yet making no progress. And then there's the weight loss. Ugh. And then the ever-present problem of my lack of social skills. I hate being so backward. I do have good days, but mostly bad/awkward days. Can someone please package up some social skills and ship them to me?
Even though I just wrote all of that, I know it's not all 100% true. Well at least I can't fully decide if it's true or not. I live in a tiny house with lots of kids. It's pretty much impossible to keep it clean all the time. The weight loss problem will only go away with time. I need patience. And then probably the lack of social skills is all in my head? LOL! I'm seriously not sure about that one. Can I go to a class for that? Does anyone know?
Back to this feeling of off-balanced-ness (made that word up). Everything feels wrong, and then I look over and see my kids having moments like these (see picture above). It brings me back around to the truth that 1. I don't want to miss the opportunities I get as a mom to enjoy this time and I don't want to get caught up in having a perfect house. OKay, I'm not saying I should become a hoarder, but is a little mess (or a lot) all that bad? 2. Who cares about losing weight. I should just be happy being chubby. LOL. Kidding. I just need to go slow and take it day by day. and 3. The most profound thought: Does it really matter if I'm backward or not? This is me. I'm shy. I'm quiet. I've spent my whole life feeling like I'm not good enough and no one will ever like me. I'm always going to struggle with self esteem. TRUTH! It's who I am. But I have a husband and children who love me no matter what. I am so grateful for that.
Just for the record when we first moved to Michigan you were the first person to come and talk to me and tell me about all the things I needed to know. I always thought you were very social and friendly. When my house is trashed from all my kids being home I remind myself that one day I'm really going to miss this mess. And ummm your baby is TINY give yourself a break on the weight loss. It takes me 6 months to a year to lose the baby weight. And I think the people that come across as everything is perfect often don't mean to. I had someone leave a comment on my blog once saying something about how it looked like my life was perfect and I felt bad because that is not what I meant to portray - or how it is of course. But I think often people leave out the less pleasant stuff to focus on the good and not want to come across as complaining and so it can appear like things are perfect. Anyway, this is long :) Your children are adorable and I hope your finger is feeling better!
ReplyDeleteYou, my dear, are the best kind of friend anyone could have! I wish I lived near you so that I could be around you! I love knowing you and am SO GLAD you are my friend!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen you get the whole messy house and loving the chub thing figured out, pass on your knowledge my way!
Ditto everything the other two comments stated - but then I have to add how I LOVE your honesty. I've said it before, but I really do. And I think our brains might be similar. :)
ReplyDeleteOh. I love your mad photography skills too. :)