TRUTH

Feeling like I'm off-balance again. People that act like life is perfect drive me crazy. No way can life always be perfect. It's like I'm walking a tight rope and trying not to fall off into the net below. Yeah. At least we all have a net. Thank-you Heavenly Father! Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm bouncing in the net right now. Time to climb back up the ladder and onto the rope again.

My house is a disaster since Christmas. I want to meet my weight loss goals but feel like I'm trudging through mud. Feeling a little friendless too.

Do you have this problem of REOCCURRING problems too? I do. I know half my problem is having kids home and feeling like I'm following them around cleaning up the tornado and yet making no progress. And then there's the weight loss. Ugh. And then the ever-present problem of my lack of social skills. I hate being so backward. I do have good days, but mostly bad/awkward days. Can someone please package up some social skills and ship them to me?

Even though I just wrote all of that, I know it's not all 100% true. Well at least I can't fully decide if it's true or not. I live in a tiny house with lots of kids. It's pretty much impossible to keep it clean all the time. The weight loss problem will only go away with time. I need patience. And then probably the lack of social skills is all in my head? LOL! I'm seriously not sure about that one. Can I go to a class for that? Does anyone know?

Back to this feeling of off-balanced-ness (made that word up). Everything feels wrong, and then I look over and see my kids having moments like these (see picture above). It brings me back around to the truth that 1. I don't want to miss the opportunities I get as a mom to enjoy this time and I don't want to get caught up in having a perfect house. OKay, I'm not saying I should become a hoarder, but is a little mess (or a lot) all that bad? 2. Who cares about losing weight. I should just be happy being chubby. LOL. Kidding. I just need to go slow and take it day by day. and 3. The most profound thought: Does it really matter if I'm backward or not? This is me. I'm shy. I'm quiet. I've spent my whole life feeling like I'm not good enough and no one will ever like me. I'm always going to struggle with self esteem. TRUTH! It's who I am. But I have a husband and children who love me no matter what. I am so grateful for that.

Carter already knows about power tools

Post edit: The story behind this picture: 11:00 at night and everyone was in bed except for me and Carter. I had some work to do and needed to use the dreaded air stapler. I put him in his car seat on the table where I was working. Since Carter was helping me, I put the ear protection on him too. But once I got it on him and saw his funny expression, I just had to get a picture of him.

The Day I Stapled Myself in the Finger

LOL! I knew that would grab your attention.

But actually I really did staple myself in the finger. It hurt really bad.

I was stretching a canvas and using an air stapler that doesn't have a safety on it. First of all, that's a bad idea. Who doesn't put a safety on a tool like that?

I was working on the corners. I use a stretcher tool thingy when I am stretching the middle section, but use my fingers to pull it tight in the corners. I have no idea if this is the right way to do this, so don't make fun of me if it isn't.

So I'm pulling the corner in and go to staple it. The gun slipped just as I squeezed the trigger and the gun fell tight against my ring finger. Ouch. I couldn't tell if I had got hurt or not. I turned my hand over to examine it and saw the staple tight against my skin. Yeah. Like all the way in my finger.

I tried to pull it out and it wouldn't come. That puppy was in the BONE!

I ran out to the garage and grabbed some needle-nosed pliers. I hesitated. This was going to hurt. Sigh. Deep breath. PULL!

It was HARD to pull it out. But I did it. I really don't want to go more into the details of what that felt like. ugh. That's all you need to know.

It was gushing blood at this point. I've never seen anything bleed like that. It was like a fountain. I wrapped it with a paper towel and pushed on it. It was at that moment that I finally panicked. What was I supposed to do now?

Of course! Call my dad! "Um Dad? Have you ever stapled yourself in the finger? With an air stapler? What should I do? I think it hit the bone."

Good thing I have such a wise dad. He told me how to take care of it, and now it looks completely healed. It left the tiniest of marks on the outside of my finger, but I'm pretty sure even though the outside looks normal, the inside is still healing. It hurts still. But it didn't get infected and I'm very happy with that.

Now you may be wondering where Trevor was during all of this. Trevor has a really queasy stomach. He can't handle blood or puke or bodily fluids. As soon as he saw the fountain of blood coming out of my finger, he ran out of the room. Logan helped me bandage it up and he even wiped the blood off the floor.

Old is Still Good

I was looking through old pictures and found these from last year. I'm almost certain I never posted them. If I did, I guess you can enjoy them for a second time. 

This one is my favorite!  Sami is so adorable!

Oh man, the past month has been a doozy! But you know what, we made it through and now Christmas is almost here! YE-AH!

I made Christmas cards. I just made them and sent them to be printed. But anyhoo, they should arrive this week and then I'll send them out. But actually, I was wondering if anyone out there even wants a Christmas card. I don't get more than three a year. Do people still send out cards? I love getting cards. Please send me a card! I want to send out cards, but I only really have family addresses. If you are reading this and want a Christmas card, please e-mail me your address!!! ASAP! Here's my e-mail: picturesbyalyson at gmail dot com. Of course, replace the words with the appropriate symbols. Sweet. You don't even have to write anything else in the email to me. Just your address.

Okay then. Got to run.