Living away from family can be hard. It's stressful. Living in a small town can be hard too, in a different way. Like feeling accepted by people that have known and accepted each other since birth or elementary school or whatever... a long time. But that's not what this post is about.
This post is about being forgotten by family when you live away. This post is about feeling disliked and misunderstood by people who should know who you are, but are slowly forgetting.
It's hard. I wish quite often that we could live closer to family members, but that is not our plan. I feel often that my intentions are misconstrued as nosy, bossy, or just plain judgemental. It's really just the space between us that makes it so easy to misunderstand. It is hurtful to feel like a second choice; like there is not enough time to hear or care about what is going on with me and my family because there is too much time spent caring about the ones who are present. It hurts. Really it is more glaring in the moments I could really use someone to care.
We went shopping for school supplies today. We got most of the way through before I got really sick and layed down right in the middle of the aisle in Walmart. I tried to feel better, and we sat for about 20 minutes, but in the end I mustered up some strength and leaning on the cart we checked out. That's a whole trip wasted to Twin Falls. We didn't get to do our grocery shopping or anything else we needed to do. But on a bright note, we did get most of our school supplies. I've been in bed since we got back. I'll get another chance to go back I'm sure. Plus we have no groceries. Carter has no milk, bread, or anything he can eat. I guess he will just have to eat gluten until I can make it to the store.
Sorry about my random story. I guess it's just one of those things I wish I could call my friend or mom and have her bring over a gallon of milk. Or even call someone for sympathy and have them listen and not have them have to get off the phone because a more important family member just walked in the door.
Dangit, I commented on this post. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. I have felt this same way recently. Please call, I will always have time for you!! Always!!!! {hugs}{hugs}
ReplyDeleteI wish I lived close to you so I could bring you milk or whatever else you need! I have had the same thoughts living away from home. Like family parties, I know I can't go but, it'd still be nice to be included and thought of and put out there so I can make the choice for myself to go or not. Or information that is floating around that everyone assumes I know but, I don't. Or having to be the one to reach out to family, especially parents, because they won't make the call themselves. Just know I love and adore you, ok?
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