I was talking to someone tonight who was a total breath of fresh air. She is someone who everyone wants to be around because she makes everyone feel like they are important. She is very positive and yet full of quirks and doesn't care who sees that she is not perfect. I love people like this. I aspire to be like this.
It is hard for me to feel safe around certain people so I become quiet and observe in social situations where I don't feel like I belong. Upon further examination, the people that I feel uncomfortable around are people who seem perfect to me. They are not real. Especially not warm. I guess it could be misconstrued for me being arrogant and a snob when I become quiet, but really I am just uncomfortable with fake-ness.
Why do some people feel the need to present a perfect demeanor. We all know that no one is perfect. Also, I feel uncomfortable with fake caring. You know, the kind of caring that is just there to look good. They ask a question, but don't really listen to the answer.
Sister So-And-So: "Alyson, you've been pretty quiet lately. Is everything okay?"
Alyson: "Well, actually I have been having a hard time..."
Sister Fun Stuff walks in.
Sister So-And-So: {interrupting Alyson} "Hi Sister Fun Stuff! I missed seeing you at charades last night!"
Anyway, this lady tonight reminded me that we don't have to be perfect to be liked. We don't have to have perfectly coiffed hair and designer jeans from The Buckle to be considered for a friend. All we have to do is be true to who we are and not be afraid to be ourselves.
Couldn't agree with you more! REal, honest, down-to-earth people are the best kind to be around.
ReplyDeleteI agree - I know it's just a student ward that I'm in, but I get similar things all the time. Sister Fun Stuff is usually a pretty cool lady too, I guess. And I think it'd be pretty cool if I knew what the word 'coiffed' meant. :)
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine posted this on facebook the other day
ReplyDelete“There are two types of people - those who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are."”
Fredrick Collins
It made me pause to think....while we can't do anything about how others act hopefully we can always be the 2nd person.
Hope you find lots of "bosom friends" in your new home.
Love ya!
~Kim
Wow, couldn't agree more!! There are only a few people that I consider a real friend. Sorry that you're having to deal with that!
ReplyDeleteI do the same getting-quiet thing in social situations I am not comfortable with. But I think I've also probably been guilty of asking a question and then getting distracted. It always bugs me when i remember later that I never heard the answer. Because I don't want to be that person!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I've never found The Buckle to have any redeeming qualities. That place only exists to make rich people feel better about themselves. :)
Alyson, I agree 100%.
ReplyDelete