Ugh. Why does every post come out sounding like a whining marathon. I'm truly not meaning to sound whiny. And you who are reading this are probably saying to yourself "what the heck are you talking about Alyson? You haven't even posted anything in a super long time!"

So I actually do write posts... all the time. I just never press the "post" button. And it's because I think they sound so dang annoying. I don't want to be annoying.

I don't know how else to say this, and I've been meaning to say it, but it's been a secret for so long, that it's actually easier for me not to say anything. Ugh.

I'm pregnant. There. I said it.

I think I don't want to put it out there because 1.) It's very scary to tell the world and then have something happen and have to un-tell the whole world and listen to everyone's I'm sorry's. 2.) Again, as I've already said, this is very scary for me. I'm scared every time I go to the doctor that there will be no heartbeat. 3.) I'M SCARED!

Okay. Enough of that. I'm truly so grateful to be adding to our family. We want this baby so bad. I don't care what we have boy or girl. I just want a healthy baby.

Now the question is how are we going to live in this small space and add one more child to the mix. Good question. I'm not sure. It will all work out?

I'm an Airhead and I Know it

Recently we were gathered together at the Misseldine household in Boise (Trevor's parents). We were having a yummy smorgasbord of tacos and toppings.

 ~Side note: There is NOTHING like a good fresh yummy salsa. I'm still having dreams about that stuff.

Anyway, I load my plate up with all these yummy foods and put all my stuff on a platter thingy. I walk carefully into the living room and set everything down on a long ottoman. Then not thinking, I sit down beside it. Picture what happened next: "Gosh, this ottoman is squishy." as I sink down into it, I look over and watch my food and water flying through the air.

Of course, I couldn't stop laughing at the surprise of it all. It was awfully funny. But truly, this is the story of my life, and why life with me is so much fun.

A few months ago I was talking with my mom about how I am clumsy in all aspects of my life; socially and physically. I guess it could be spiritually as well. I've never thought about that one. She relayed to me a story about when she was Relief Society president and a misunderstanding that happened with the Primary President. In this instance she did something very innocent and it was taken to be done with malicious intent by the primary president. This is something that happens ALL THE TIME with me. I'm not kidding.

This is where I have this giant epiphany that I am my mother.

P.S. My mother is clumsy too.

Back It Up

Well here I am like normal, way behind on posts. I'm going to put it all in one because I don't feel like making multiple ones.

A few weeks ago my nephew Ben was married to his sweetheart in the Rexburg Temple. Having never been to this temple, it was quite an experience to get to photograph them on their special day. It was COLD!

Here is the happy couple... OH WAIT! That's my brother Jon and his beautiful daughter Lucy!

 Some of the kids that were waiting for the bride and groom to come out of the temple.

 Here they are... the Bride and Groom. So happy for them!

 We were gone two weekends in a row helping with the wedding and receptions.

Then when we got back from all the fun, it was time to celebrate Samantha's birthday!

 I've got a five year old now! She got to pick out her cake and what she wanted for her special birthday dinner.

 Does anybody else do "heavy heavy hangover"?

 You get to hit the birthday girl/boy on the head with your gift and they wish something nice for you in exchange for your gift.

 We love you Samantha!!!!! Happy Birthday!

Anyone for a little jazz?

The past month I've awoken in the middle of the night to jazz music. Actually it could be more like big band stuff, but it's hard to pin it down. When I first awake, I'm not really sure where the music is coming from. The first few times, I stumbled around trying to shut it off. It was like it was coming in on the radio. The signal wasn't very good either, since the music was coming in and out. Pretty soon I wake up enough to realize it's coming from Trevor's side of the bed. Hmmm, it's coming from his mouth.

Yes, my husband is that talented that he can sound like brass instruments when he breathes.

My biggest mistake, or I'm Sorry!

When I was in elementary school, I was a good kid. I was well behaved, kind and extremely shy. The worst thing I ever did was in first grade when I turned around to the desk behind me, while doing in-class assignments, and gave my paper to my twin sister to complete for me. She did, and I got very good grades because of it.

That was the worst thing I ever did, until I reached fourth grade or so. Every Friday was popcorn day. Bring a quarter and you can buy a giant bad of popcorn. Yeehaw!

We didn't get to bring quarters to school very often. It was kind of sad to walk around the playground every Friday and see the tiny popcorn pieces strewn all over the asphalt and sand. I always thought it would be easy to get an empty popcorn bag out of the trash can and fill it up with the popcorn that had fallen out of kids hands as they were stuffing their faces. I bet no one would even know it was popcorn that had fallen on the ground.

One Friday I decided to try my trick. I grabbed a discarded popcorn bag out of the trash and walked around picking up the tiny popcorn pieces off the ground. I got some friends to help me. In no time at all, the bag was full. I looked at it. It looked like the real deal!

In my stupid head, I thought it would be funny if I could get someone to believe it was real. If I could get someone to EAT it, that would be so funny!

I looked around the playground and my eyes stopped on two boys. These boys were not very popular. They were from poor families. They did not dress very nice. Sometimes they did not smell very good. If anyone wanted popcorn, they would want it.

I walked over and offered it to them. Their eyes lit up! They were so happy to have this popcorn to eat! They were so happy someone had done something so nice for them.

I felt so dirty inside. It wasn't funny like I thought it would be. It wasn't how I thought it would be at all.

I watched them eating the popcorn so happily and was disgusted with myself.

I will never forget the look on the boys' faces as they learned the truth when my friend approached them and told them the truth about where that popcorn had come from. They spit the popcorn out on the ground. They were so hurt. I can never get that scene out of my head. I will never forget. I never want to forget.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”  — by L.F.Buscaglia

I often wonder what happened to those boys. Where are they now. I hope wherever they are, they have forgiven me.